Fb. You. Tw. Ig.

I’ve opened


Say goodbye


Get me a vodka


Ask Jeeves




But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.

I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?”

About me

I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse Portfolio

Good news, everyone! There’s a report on TV with some very bad news! Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged. Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court!

Of all the friends I’ve had… you’re the first. Of all the friends I’ve had… you’re the first. And yet you haven’t said what I told you to say!